Lent Day #3

Lent Day #3.
I did something today that was pretty far out of my comfort zone. My daughters are in Pioneer Girls and they were having a Mom/Daughter Sleepover & Spa Night. I didn't want to go. Oh, how I didn't want to go. But, because my daughters looked up at me with their happy, shining faces while they drawled out, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Mum, will you goooooooo?????", I relented and went.
I participated in the disgusting making of the skin masques that they get to take home (ewww. Oatmeal, brown sugar, honey, olive oil and vanilla? Uck.), I painted their nails, and I sat through the Spa Treatment of "let's all lay back, put cucumbers and a cool cloth on our foreheads and listen to ladies talk about inner beauty". (Except I sat. I was afraid that if I laid down, I'd cry because of falling on the ice the other day. I STILL hurt from that!)

As I sat and listened I realized that Lent was doing it's job in my heart.
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.
I don't fit in at church as I'm too much of an Open Theist and not enough of a Calvinist/Armenist, and because I'm too loud, I'm too opinionated, I'm too outspoken.
I don't fit in with other Christian women as I see the majority of them to be boring and repressed women. (At least a lot of the Christian women that are around me are like that!) Let me put it this way - if the Christian women around me were flavours, they'd be a very bland vanilla. Not a French Vanilla with flecks of vanilla bean to jazz them up, they'd be a No Name boring vanilla.

I am not a boring Vanilla kind of girl. Never have been, and never will be.
I like action, I like challenges, and I love thinking and coloring outside of the lines.

So if God is trying to get me to have a period of reflection and to take stock, then I'd say that He was succeeding magnificently. I am. And I don't like what I'm coming up with.

I feel like I am so far removed from the ladies at the one church I used to do a Bible Study at... Like we are kinda on different planets.
I sat there during the Inner Beauty talk, and all I could think was, "I think I should get my tattoo done." Not as a rebellious sort of thing, but more like a "this is who I am, and where I've come from" thing.

I can't see any of those ladies getting a tatt. Heck, the most "daring" lady there was wearing a week little silver toe ring.

So I think Lent is doing it's job. I'm taking stock, I'm reflecting. And I don't necessarily like what I see.