1 month until...

The countdown is ON!!! One month until I get my uterus yanked. [Or in HysterSister terms: 1 month until I go to the Castle (hospital) and become a Princess (I don't understand it either)] I'm not going to lie - I'm a little nervous. I think it's the factor of the ambiguous unknown quotient. I've never had major surgery before, so this is all brand-spanking-new to me. And staying overnight in a hospital makes my anxiety climb to unreasonable heights. I should probably talk to my therapist about that. But I am excited too. To not be ruled by my uterus anymore? That'll be awesome. (Especially seeing as my period is currently 7 days late, this is a very timely feeling) But in this last month of having my girly bits, I need to get SO MUCH DONE! List Of Shit I Need To Get Done (by Cindy) - clean and declutter house - clean out garage - tidy up van - finish up my last few weeks of Storytime - start figuring out meals for when I'm down and out (or else I'm going to be having a LOT of food made for me by my kids) - Lose a good 75 pounds. Okay, that last one is probably not so achievable in a month's time. I can increase my core strength though... So I'm drinking the Kool-aid and I'm signing up for a membership at Curves. I might have to figure out how to wedge an earbud into my pierced ear (I have some cartilage piercings) so I don't have to listen to that horrible music. Maybe an elastic headband? Or Over-the-ears headphones? I dunno. I'll have to play around with it. I also need to add "Get my nails done before I go into the Hospital" to that list, and an eyebrow wax wouldn't be amiss either, I'm sure. Should I wax my lady garden? I swear, hospitals should offer that service while you're completely numb/knocked out so you don't have to have a horrible first experience with waxing. Listen up, Alberta Health Care.... You could make a MINT by combining medical procedures with spa procedures!! C Section and a pedicure/bikini wax. Hip replacement and a pubic sculpting. Cardiac surgery and permanent eyebrow pencil tattooing. Organ transplant and anal bleaching. You're welcome. Oh society, you're so welcome.

Hysterectomy

I am having a hysterectomy. There. I said it. Out loud. Holy jeeze, they are REMOVING AN ORGAN!!! *breathes into paper bag* So I should probably give you some background, just to set the scene. I've been seeing a gynaecologist since last fall because the older I get, the heavier and more painful my period has become. And seeing how my mother only went through menopause at the age of 59, that means I have potentially 24 more years of menstruating ahead of me. Ugh. Shoot me now. So I talked to my regular doctor, and we tried heavy duty Naproxen, and while it made me feel floaty and happily stoned, it didn't do ANYTHING to lessen my flow. And then we discovered that I was dangerously anemic from the monthly blood loss. I started taking mega iron pills. :P My family doctor was pushing the Mirena hormonal IUD on me ("You're done having kids, why not?" "IUDs are tolerated by everyone!!") even though I stated that I had tried an IUD and it was the worst thing I had ever done. Gynecologist was AMAZING. She was awesome and spent a WHOLE HOUR with me, listening to my concerns and what was going on with my innards. She suggested a hysterectomy right then and there, but I declined as I felt it was too big of a step to leap into. I wanted to ascend the Ladder of Intervention from least invasive to most invasive. We tried Cyclokapron to disastrous effects. I had a uterine ultrasound, and everything seemed fine. We tried Super Strength Naproxen. Nope. We tried the Mirena IUD. I ended up with a 96 consecutive day migraine, vertigo, zits and I bled all the time. So we took it out and I hemorrhaged for the next 10 straight days. (Like almost needed a blood transfusion. It was scary.) So, I decided to pull the trigger (so to speak), and to end my misery. I am having a hysterectomy. Yes, I'm scared. It's an organ that they're removing. (I think giddily sometimes of offering it to women who need help - To Give Away - 1 gently used uterus. Has had 4 pregnancies, no miscarriages. Very reliable. Free to good home.) What I'm having is called a Total Vaginal Hysterectomy. Basically, they're removing my cervix, uterus, and Fallopian tubes. (New research out of Vancouver has shown a 60% decrease in ovarian cancer if the tubes are removed) They are leaving my ovaries intact so I won't be thrust into medical menopause. (Phew!) But surgery is scheduled for June 24th. I haven't told my kids yet as I don't want to worry them. Husband knows. He is supportive. I waver between elation and excitement that a pear shaped uterus is not going to rule my life anymore to complete panic. It's an OPERATION!!! Aaah! So if it's okay with you, I plan on using this as an online journal. You don't have to read... I need to write to get it all out.