I had a sad thing happen today. I was touring an Assisted Living facility for an extended family member today, and after we toured the facility (which is GORGEOUS, by the way), we were sitting waiting for the taxi to come pick us up. The extended family member is a wee old Scottish lady who is feisty as hell. She tells it like she sees it. Unfortunately, she has dementia. So today she says to me, "Oh dear, as much as I like you, I like what's in your belly better." Me: "What?" Her: "Your belly!" *points to my swollen abdomen* Me: "Oh, I'm not pregnant." Her: "Oh, you wee liar! Of course you are!" Me: "Nope. Not pregnant. Actually I just had a hysterectomy, so there's no possible way I will ever be pregnant again." *I turn away and try to wipe the tears out of my eyes so she won't see* You know, I've either had dreams that I'm dying or dreams that I'm having a baby, almost every single night for the last 4.5 weeks. Last night I didn't dream about either - I was lost. But I honestly felt that I was completely exposed by having to admit that I will never be pregnant again. I no longer have the ability to bring forth life. I am infertile. I am barren. I don't have any of the bits necessary to do that. I know she didn't mean to hurt me. I understand that it's a wicked combination of the dementia and lack of social filter. I understand that my belly is still swollen. (And heck... I was feeling pretty good about how little it was swollen today! I guess I was deluding myself!) But dammit, I did NOT want to have to start telling people today. I still feel emotionally fragile! Like an eggshell about to be crushed... So I'm pretty sure today was a Not So Good Day.