I feel so much better now....

Wow..........


It's amazing what a deadline met can make you feel like.

I feel so amazingly competent. I feel so proud of myself. With God and my hubby's help - we did it. We got the house ready for listing today.
I almost feel like leaping up in the air and cheering loudly (except my feet hurt, so I'll take a raincheck on the leaping part). I feel like a conqueror. I conquered my house, and I WON!!!!!

When the realtor came to take the photos for the MLS service, she commented that the house looked AMAZING and that it would show so well. I really felt that I've done all that I can do - now it's all in God's hands. I've done everything He's asked me to do to the best of my ability..... Now is the time that He needs to "kiss" the work that I've done.... IN other words, He needs to bless it. Goodness knows I've prayed enough for this house and the new owners!!!

Now that the "craziness" is over, I can concentrate on vacationing. You have NO idea how much I am looking forward to sitting in one spot and reading a good book. (I know, it prolly won't happen because I have 4 kids including 1 trouble prone toddler, but I can have my fantasies, can't I??)

Now that the craziness is over, my hubby and I can hopefully stop fighting.
I hate fighting.
Unfortch, with all the work and reno's that we've had to do in the last month and a half, it seems like we were both snippy and argumentative with each other. I know I was/am not perfect, and I know that under stress I can morph into an Uber-standoffish-beeyotch. I'm not excusing my behaviour at all. I guess I'm not looking forward to "talking" with hubby.
I think I am the ONLY female on the planet that hates talking about how she feels. (Hence the blog! *Grin*) I always end up crying and being really quiet when it comes to feelings, and it seems that my hubby gets really irritated/annoyed/fed up with me crying and being quiet.
I can't tell you how often he's yelled at me that "I'm not a freaking mind reader, Cindy!! You gotta tell me!!".

The thing is, I *think* I tell him, and in my world (on Happy Cindy Planet) it is telling. But in "Hubbyland" I'm not telling him.

*sigh*

And we had it out about sex the other night. Apparently, 3 times that I tried to initiate sex, he didn't even realize what I was attempting to do.
(I"ve also tried since then, FYI, and both times were a no-go. I can understand that..... The last thing I want at the end of an exhausting day is to fool around. Fair enough. )

Why does sex have to be such a sticky area? Why is it a stumbling area for so many couples?
I know some couples that have strict outlines for sex - no morning sex, no quickies while the kids are awake, spitting no swallowing, no toys...... Yada, yada, yada.
It seems like after 9 years of marriage, we need to rediscover what it right for us at this stage in our marriage. I'm tired of being compared to other couples and their sex lives..... We're us. We aren't anyone else, and no one else is in our marriage. Therefore, we cater to our needs and wants.

And I know this is horrible to say, but right now I am just not in a sex space. I think it's because I am just so tired and spent.
I actually fantasized the other day about being sedated at the hospital for a good week to recuperate. LOL!!!! As long as I have an IV in my arm, and a catheter, I am good to go! (I'd prolly even lose weight that way, too! LOL)

C.